Kodi mumagwirizanitsa mawu oti "banja" ndi chiyani? Mwinamwake ndi lingaliro lotere monga ulesi, chikondi ndi kudalira. Koma zimachitika kuti moyo wa banja umabweretsa ululu komanso manyazi. Izi zimapangitsa mwamuna wake kugonjetsedwa. Choipa kwambiri n'chakuti mikhalidwe yotereyi si yachilendo, ndipo amayi nthawi zambiri amasankha kulekerera nkhanza zapakhomo, kupititsa patsogolo luso lokonzekera komanso kupanga nkhani zotsutsana ndi khomo kusiyana ndi kuthawa kwa mwamuna wankhanza. Chifukwa chake izi zimachitika, ndipo ngati ife tiyenera kuyembekezera kulapa kwa munthu, tsopano ife tizilingalira izo.
Kupha Mbanja: Zotsatira ndi Zotsatira
Chikhalidwe cha amuna chimafunidwa kuti chikhale chitetezo, chimakhala ndi chidziwitso cha kudziyimira, chomwe chimapangitsa oimira mphamvu zogonana kuti apite ku masewera, zida, komanso kuyang'ana njira zina zogwiritsira ntchito mphamvu zawo. Ochuluka kwambiri omwe amawona kuti ndibwino kuti akanthe okondedwa awo. Koma chiwawa mu banja sichifotokozedwa ndi chibadwa ichi, mukhoza kuzindikira kufunikira kodzimva nokha. Nanga n'chifukwa chiyani amuna amenya akazi awo?
Amuna onse omwe amachitira zachiwawa m'banja amatha kukhala ndi magawo awiri. Choyamba, chofala kwambiri, awa ndi amuna amene, pokangana ndi mkazi wawo, ayamba kutsimikizira malingaliro awo ndi zida zawo. Pankhaniyi, mwamuna samalemekeza mkazi wake ngati munthu, koma nthawi yomweyo amadalira maganizo ake.
Mtundu wachiwiri wa abambo achimuna ndi wochepa kwambiri, koma ndi owopsa kwambiri. Anthu oterewa sasowa kuti adzalandire nkhanza, akhoza kumenyana ndi mkazi, koma amakhala chete. Awa ndi anthu omwe ali ndi matenda a m'maganizo, choncho ndi owopsa kwambiri kwa amayi, popeza angathe kukonzekera kubwezera chilango kwaukwati, mpaka kuphatikizapo kuphana.
Zifukwa zowonongera munthu wosadziwika kuti achite zachiwawa sizili zovuta kupeza, koma chomwe chimachititsa amuna achilendo a mtundu woyambawo ndi osakayika. Amuna amenewa ndi osowa, amawona kuti alibe mphamvu pa chirichonse ndikuyesera kumverera, akumenya akazi awo. Anthu awa amakhulupirira kuti mkazi ayenera kupereka chitonthozo cha uzimu, ndipo ngati sazimva chifukwa chake, amayamba kumenyana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo.
Kulimbana ndi chiwawa m'banja, amai amaika moyo wawo pachiswe komanso thanzi lawo, komanso tsogolo la ana awo. Anthu omwe anakulira m'mabanja amenewa nthawi zambiri alibe moyo wawo. Anyamatawo amadziimba mlandu chifukwa chosakhoza kuteteza amayi awo kapena kukhala ofanana ndi abambo awo. Atsikana amaopa ubale weniweni, kuganiza kuti anthu onse ndi olamulira anzawo.
Kodi mungatsamwitse bwanji mwamuna wanu kuntchito?
Kawirikawiri amayi omwe amamenyedwa ndi mwamuna amayamba kudziimba mlandu payekha. Ndipo sizowonongeka, nthawi zambiri mkazi wokwiya, mtima wamanyazi umapangitsa kuti anthu azichita zachiwawa kwa amuna omwe ali ndi chizoloŵezi cha chiwawa. Zikuchitika kuti nkhondo m'banja ili ndizitsitsimutsa, pambuyo pake banja limakhudzidwa kwambiri kuposa wina aliyense. Mulimonsemo, mu chiyanjano chomwe mkazi akukumana nacho ndi mwamuna, popeza amayi ambiri omwe amasiya abambo achimuna, pakapita kanthawi, amabwerera kwa iwo. Izi zikuwonekeranso pa mafunso omwe amayi akufuna kuti alandidwe kuchokera kwa amuna awo. Amakhala ndi chidwi chothandizira amuna awo kuti asamangidwe, ndiko kuti, amayi samadziwa kuti sakufuna kuthetsa maubwenzi awo, chifukwa ndizomveka kuti ndizosatheka kuyamwitsa anthu ku chiwawa. Ngati mwamuna ali ndi chizolowezi chomenya mkazi wake, sichidzathetsedwa. Kuyesetsa kusunga banja n'kotheka kokha ngati chiwawa sichiri chosatha, ndipo ngati mwamunayo akudziŵa kuti ali ndi vuto la kudziletsa ndipo akufuna kudzigwira yekha. Ndiye mkazi ayenera kutamanda ulemu wa wokondedwa, kukhale wopepuka komanso wodekha.
Momwe mungalangizire mwamuna chifukwa cha chiwawa?
Nthawi zambiri, amayi amayesa kupeza njira zowulangira munthu chifukwa cha chiwawa. Njirazi zikuphatikizidwa muyankhidwe, mungathe kukumana ndi uphungu kuti mutenge poto (kapena ziwiya zina zophika) ndi kumenyana ndi okhulupirika, kuti amve yekha pa khungu lake