Nthawi zambiri mukhoza kumva mawu akuti "achibale samasankha." Kunena izi, munthu amatanthauza kuti palibe kugwirizana ndi achibale, ndipo ngati sichifukwa cha machitidwe abwino, ndiye kuti misonkhano siidzachitike konse. Nanga bwanji za makhalidwe apabanja, miyambo, chirichonse chimene chimagwirizanitsa mibadwo ingapo kukhala umodzi, kodi sizili ndi malo mdziko lamakono?
Kodi banja ndi liti?
Ndife okondwa kugwiritsa ntchito mawu akuti "zikhalidwe za banja" pokambirana, koma izi ndi zovuta kuziganizira. Kufotokozera izo sikophweka, mwinamwake, miyezo ya banja ndi yofunikira kwa banja, "samenti" yofunikira kuti gulu la anthu omwe ali ndi chikhalidwe chofanana chomwecho chikugwirizanitsa ndi anthu amzanga. Zikupezeka kuti m'banja lirilonse chinthu chachikulu ndi chokha: wina amafunika kukhulupilira, pamene ena amafuna kulemera kwa bizinesi ya banja. Zili zoonekeratu kuti m'mabanja awiriwa zikhalidwe zidzakhala zosiyana. Choncho, kunena zomwe zikhalidwe za banja ziyenera kukhalira, ndipo makamaka kunena za maudindo awo, ntchitoyo ndi yosatheka, banja lililonse liri ndi lingaliro lokha pazofunikira, ilo likhazikitsa zofunika. Ndipo sizodabwitsa - ife tonse ndife osiyana.
Mwachitsanzo, chikhalidwe chaposachedwapa, chomwe chikhalidwe chachikulu chimakhala chitonthozo, zofunikanso, ulemu. Ichi ndi chomwe chimatchedwa gulu lachikondi, zokondana zomwe zimagwirizana pano zomwe zimafalikira kumbuyo kapena sizimasewera mbali iliyonse. Kwa mabanja omwe amalingalira maziko a chikondi, mtundu uwu wa chiyanjano udzawoneka woopsa, koma, komabe, alipo. Monga pali mitundu yambiri ya maukwati.
Choncho, palibe njira yokonzedwa yokonzekera mfundo zomwe ziyenera kulimbikitsidwa m'banja lanu. Mukhoza kungoganizira zomwe zimayendera banja ndikuganiza zomwe zili zoyenera kwa inu, ndipo zomwe zingakhale zopanda phindu.
Kodi banja ndi liti?
- Kulankhulana. Kwa munthu aliyense, kulankhulana ndikofunika, amafunika kugawana nzeru, kufotokozera maganizo ake, kulandira uphungu ndi ndondomeko. Kawirikawiri mabanja alibe njira yolankhulirana, ndipo timabweretsa chimwemwe ndi nkhawa zathu kwa anzathu ndi a psychoanalysts. Ngati pali zibwenzi m'banja, ndiye kuti mikangano ndi mikangano ndizochepa, chifukwa mafunso ambiri akutsutsidwa, ndibwino kuti mamembala akhale pansi pa tebulo.
- Ulemu. Ngati mamembala sakulemekezana, sakukondana wina ndi mzake, ndiye kuti kulankhulana kwabwino pakati pawo sikutheka. Ndikofunika kusokoneza ulemu ndi mantha, ana ayenera kulemekeza atate wawo, komanso osamuopa. Ulemu umasonyezedwa mwa kufunitsitsa kuvomereza malingaliro, zosowa ndi malingaliro a munthu wina, kuti asamangokhalira kuika maganizo ake pa iye, koma kuyesa kumumvetsa.
- Kumverera kofunikira kwa banja lanu. Kubwerera kwathu, tikufuna kuona chisangalalo pamaso pa okondedwa athu, tiyenera kumverera chikondi chawo, kudziwa kuti sizidalira pazopambana ndi kupambana. Ndikufuna kukhulupirira kuti nthawi yake yaulere aliyense wa m'banja adzalandira kamphindi kwa wina, ndipo sadzapita ku mavuto ake. Nyumbayi ndi malo otetezeka, ndipo banjali liri phokoso lamtendere, mwinamwake, aliyense akufuna.
- Mphamvu yokhululukira. Palibe aliyense wa ife amene ali wangwiro ndipo banja ndilo malo otsiriza omwe tingakonde kumva kumanyozedwa ndi kutsutsidwa mu adiresi yathu. Choncho, munthu ayenera kuphunzira kukhululukira zolakwitsa za ena ndi kusabwereza mwiniwake.
- Miyambo. Wina ali ndi mwambo wosonkhanitsira banja lonse pa May 9 ndi agogo ankhondo a Nkhondo Yachiŵiri Yadziko Lonse, wina amawonera mafilimu Loweruka, akusonkhanitsa mu holo ndi TV, ndipo wina mwezi uliwonse banja lonse likutuluka mumzinda (mu malo otchedwa bowling, paki yamadzi). Banja lirilonse liri ndi chikhalidwe chawo, koma kukhalapo kwake kuli
chinthu chogwirizanitsa ndipo chimapangitsa banja kukhala lapadera. - Udindo. Maganizo amenewa ndi ofanana ndi anthu onse omwe adakhazikitsidwa ndi ana, timayesetsa kulimbikitsa mwamsanga. Koma payenera kukhala ndi udindo osati nthawi yogwira ntchito, koma kwa banja, chifukwa chirichonse chimene timachitira banja ndi mamembala ake ayenera kudziwa ichi.
Makhalidwe apabanja ndi olemera, ndi omwe amapezeka kwambiri. Kwa mabanja ambiri, ndikofunika kukhala ndi ufulu, malo, malo, chikhulupiliro chachikulu mu ubale, mowolowa manja.