Pa zochimwa zonse zakupha, alaliki ambiri amaona kuti kunyada kwakukulu. Ambiri adzati, Kodi ndi tchimo lotani, munthu wosadzikuza, ngakhale kuti ndi wotani? Izi ndizoona, choncho ndi bwino kukumbukira kusiyana komwe kuli pakati pa kunyada ndi kunyada. Ndizowona, ngakhale ziri zovuta kwambiri kuti mupeze mzere wabwino wolekanitsa kunyada ndi kunyada. Koma zikhoza kuzindikiranso, ndikofunikira kuti tichite izi, pokhapokha ngati tingachotsere kunyada?
Kodi kunyada kumasiyana bwanji ndi kunyada?
Masiku ano, kunyada ndi kunyada nthawi zambiri zimasokonezeka, ndipo zokondweretsa kwambiri ndizokuti kunyada kumaonedwa kuti ndichinyengo, ndipo lingaliro la kunyada limalowetsedwa ndi mawu okongola ndi chilakolako ndi kudzidalira. Kotero kodi kunyada kumakonda bwanji ndipo kumasiyana bwanji ndi kunyada?
Tiyeni tiyambe, mwina, ndi kunyada. Palibe amene anganene kuti kumverera kotero n'kofunikira kwa munthu aliyense. Popanda kudzidalira, palibe umunthu, munthu wotero ali ngati buluni, yomwe mphepo iliyonse ingakhoze kusewera, ndipo aliyense akhoza kuyiponya. Mudzanena, koma bwanji ngati munthu asankha njira ya kudzichepetsa, chifukwa chiyani ayenera kunyada? Amafunikira kumverera kotere kuposa wina aliyense, chifukwa kudzidzimva yekha kumam'thandiza kuthetsa chisokonezo chonse ndikuyanjanitsa nawo. Lingaliro la kunyada lili ndi zambiri, munthu sangakhale wonyada osati pokhapokha phindu lake, komanso za zomwe anthu ena apindula, maudindo m'dziko lake.
Kodi kunyada, zizindikiro zake, ndichifukwa chiyani nthawi zambiri zimasokonezeka ndi kunyada? Mwinamwake, chifukwa kumverera uku kumachokera ku kunyada, ndi mwana wake woipitsidwa. Kudzidalira kumakhala kukhala wodzikonda kwambiri komanso kudzikonda. Munthuyo, yemwe adagonjetsedwa ndi kunyada, sasamala za maganizo ndi maganizo a anthu ena, amatha "kupita kumbuyo" ku cholinga chake. Apa kunyada ndi kudzichepetsa sizigwirizana - kuvomereza, kumatanthauza kukhala ngati wina aliyense, womvetsa chisoni komanso wopanda pake. Ayi, kunyada sikungalole izi, sakusamala za ululu wa anthu ena, chinthu chachikulu ndichokuti ego yamtengo wapatali, wonyamulira, akusungidwa. Zoonadi, zizindikiro zonsezi ndizo gawo lomalizira, zidzakhala zovuta kuthana ndi kunyada monga momwe ziliri ndi khalidwe loipa lomwe lakhala loipa.
Mmene mungagwirire ndi kunyada ndi kuligonjetsa?
Anthu auzimu samayankhula zopanda pake pachabe chifukwa cha khalidwe loipa la anthu, ndikuyesera kukhutiritsa kunyada, anthu amachita zinthu zoopsa. Kotero, kuchotsa choyipa ichi, momwe mungagonjetse kunyada?
- Nthawi zambiri, kunyada kumakula mwa anthu omwe sanalandire chikondi cha makolo kuyambira ali ana. Iwo sakhala otetezeka kwambiri mu maluso awo ndipo amaphimba kumverera uku mwa kudzikweza mwadala pamwamba pa ena. Kudzikuza pa nkhaniyi ndi chitetezo chomwe chimapangitsa munthu wosatetezeka kuti asanyozedwe. Kodi mungagonjetse bwanji kunyada pankhaniyi? Muyenera kumvetsa kuti aliyense akulakwitsa ndikudzipereka nokha. Lekani kuopa momwe mumawonekera pamaso pa anthu ena. Dzikondeni nokha ndikukhulupirira kuti ena angakukondeni ngati muwapatsa mwayi umenewu. Munthu yemwe wasindikizidwa mu khola la kunyada, ndizosatheka kwenikweni kukonda. Pamaso pa anthu oterewa, makamaka omwe ali ndi mphamvu, mungathe kupukuta, amatha kunyengerera ndi kunjenjemera, kumangika maganizo ndi masautso osiyanasiyana pamutu wa anthu onyada.
- Phunzirani kulemekeza anthu ena, kuvomereza kuti pali anthu aluso kwambiri. Ndipo ngakhale mutakhala okongola m'madera amodzi, kumbukirani kuti pangakhale munthu wina wochuluka komanso wopambana kuposa iwe. Choncho, nthawi iyenera kugwiritsidwa ntchito osati pa kudzikuza, komatu pazinthu zodzikuza, kotero kuti nthawi zonse munganene kuti ndinu mmodzi mwa akatswiri abwino kwambiri m'munda mwanu.
- Kodi mwakhala mutatha nthawi yaitali bwanji mutamva munthu wina? Tonsefe timadziwa kusasamala maganizo a anthu ena, kukhala ndi maganizo pa vuto, ndikutsindika mfundo zamaliseche zokha. Luso limeneli ndi lofunika, ndipo mu ntchito zina popanda izo, ndipo simukuchita, chinthu chachikulu ndi kusaiwala momwe mungamverere ena. Ngati mumatha kumvetsa interlocutor,
mudziike nokha m'malo mwake, ndiye kunyada mumtima mwako sikudzakhala. - Nthawi zambiri timakhala moyo mogwirizana ndi chifuniro cha anthu, mosiyana ndi zosiyana. Koma si abwino kwa aliyense, musaope kuthetsa chida ichi, yesetsani kusuntha njoka m'makonzedwe apamwamba a malingaliro a anthu ena pa moyo, koma kuti mupeze kuwona kosatha. Kumbukirani kuti kudzipatula sikuli chifukwa cha kunyada, ndizomwe mungakwaniritsire.
- Chenjerani ndi kulimbana ndi kunyada kutaya kunyada - popanda kulikonse. Choncho, samalani ndipo musagwirizane ndi kudzichepetsa, chifukwa kumatsogolera ku uchimo wina wakufa - kutaya mtima.