M'dziko lamakono, ndizosatheka kudabwitanso aliyense ndi malingaliro osagwirizana nawo, komabe iwo sanena za anzawo omwe ali amzawo kapena anyamata okhaokha, chifukwa zonse zomwezo sizimamvetsa nthawi zonse ndipo zimachitira izi mosalekeza. Chifukwa cha chinsinsi chamtundu uwu, chomwe kawirikawiri sichimachitika mochuluka ndi chinsinsi cha mtundu wa anthu, monga kuchokera payekha, palinso mavuto. Makamaka izi zikugwiritsidwa ntchito kwa atsikana omwe angayambe kukondana ndi mnyamata popanda kudziwa kuti ndi wamng'onoting'ono, ndipo mnyamatayu panthawiyi amagwiritsa ntchito mtsikanayo ngati chivundikiro chake, kuti atsimikizire kuti akugonana. Pofuna kuti tisagwere mu zochitika zoterezi, zomwe zidzangowonjezera kuthetsa chiyanjano ndi misozi, ndikofunika kuphunzira zizindikiro zina za amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe angakuthandizeni kuzindikira momwe amachitira mwamuna kapena mkazi. Ndipotu, nthawi zambiri pali zochitika zomwe muyenera kukayikira zachilengedwe zatsopano (kapena osadziwika bwino), kotero kuti chidziwitso chotere sichitha msungwana aliyense.
Kodi mungaphunzire bwanji gay?
Choyamba, ndikofunikira kutembenukira ku funso la tanthawuzo la mwamuna yemwe ali ndi chibwenzi, yemwe ali ndi zana limodzi mwa magawo zana alionse, osati abambo obisika kapena obisika omwe ali ocheperako. Popeza ali ndi amuna okhaokha amene adziwonetsera okha motsimikizika ndi kugonana kwawo, amakhumudwa kwambiri ndipo ndi zophweka kuziphunzira.
Ngati tikulankhula za momwe tingaphunzire mseche pamsewu, makamaka zovala. Inde, masiku ano mafashoni amatha kupanga tanthawuzoli kukhala lovuta, komabe chovala chimati zambiri zokhudza mwamuna, ngakhale kuti nthawi zambiri sizingakhale zosavuta kuzidziwitsa. Choncho, anthu achiwerewere nthawi zambiri amadzitsatira mosamala komanso amamvetsera kwambiri maonekedwe. Choncho zovala zawo nthawi zonse zimakhala zoyera, ndipo vuto lililonse mu fano ndilolenga. Kuphatikizanso apo, anyamata ambiri amakhala ndi tsitsi lokongola kwambiri, tsitsi lokonzedwa bwino, milomo, manja ndi zina zotero. Kawirikawiri, iwo amaonetsetsa kuti maonekedwe akuposa amayi ambiri.
Ndikoyenera kumvetsera momwe mwamuna amachitira ndi omwe akuimira za amai ake. Amayi achiwerewere nthawi zambiri amakhala ochepa, amawoneka mwachikondi ndi zina zotero. Kawirikawiri, diso lachidziwitso la amayi likhoza kuzindikira mwa njira yolumikizira zizindikiro zina zomwe sizingasamalidwe.
Komanso, m'madera okayikira, mabakiteriya akhoza kugwa, ngakhale angakhale akufunafuna mkazi woyenera. Ndi amuna ochuluka omwe amalimbikitsa ufulu wa amayi kapena ayi, salankhula bwino za oimira akazi.
Koma, makamaka, ndibwino kufunsa chinthu chodandaula mwachindunji. Kawirikawiri, ngati mwamuna sakugonana, adzayankha funsoli. Lolani likhale osati yankho lolunjika, koma lidzamveka bwino komanso losamvetsetseka.
Momwe mungazindikire gay obisika?
Koma ngati mutakhudza pa funso la momwe mungadziwire kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wamasiye, ndiye kuti zonsezo n'zovuta kwambiri. Pali anthu omwe sangavomereze zomwe ali nazo kapena sangathe kumvetsetsa okha kuti athe kusankhapo.
Koma vuto ndi lakuti zizindikiro zonse zomwe mungadziwe kuti ndizogonana ndizosazindikiritsa. Ngati munthuyo samatsutsana ndi chikhalidwe chake ndikudzivomereza yekha monga momwe alili, ndiye kuti n'zosavuta kumuzindikira, msungwana aliyense amamva kuti, monga akunena, chinachake sichili chabwino. Ndi zobisika zobisala, ndizovuta kwambiri, choncho samalirani zonse mwa mnyamata: zokonda zake, zokonda zake, kapangidwe kake. Pamapeto pake, ngati akuwona zokongola ndi mawonekedwe pamsewu. Komabe, ndi kovuta kupanga yankho losavomerezeka payekha ndipo ndilofunika kuti muyankhulane ndi mtima, kuti musamavutike pamapeto chifukwa cha munthu yemwe sali woyenera misonzi.