Mwinamwake, palibe amene angatsutsane ndi mfundo yakuti mu ubale wa banja chinthu chachikulu ndicho chikondi ndi kumvetsetsa. Koma zimachitika kuti malingaliro omwewo, malingaliro ndi malingaliro pazovuta - zonsezi zimafalikira kwinakwake patatha zaka zingapo pambuyo pa ukwatiwo. Kodi chiyenera kuchitanji kuti muthe kumvetsetsa m'banja, momwe mungaphunzire kuyang'ana dziko ndi maso? Kapena, ngati mwaleka kumvetsetsana, ndiye kuti chilichonse chomwe chili pachibwenzi chingadutse?
Kodi mungapeze bwanji kumvetsetsa m'banja?
Kuti muyankhe funsoli, nkofunikira kumvetsetsa momwe kumvetsetsana kumayambira pakati pa anthu. Ndiko kuyesa kunena kuti zikuwonekera paokha, chifukwa, pokondana, sitimayesetsa kumvetsetsa moyo wathu wapamtima, chirichonse chimapita paokha. Ndiye bwanji patapita nthawi yolimbirana moyo tikuyenera kuthana ndi vuto la kusowa kwa kumvetsetsa m'banja, kodi kumatayika kuti?
Ndipotu, palibe chimene chimachoka, pokhapokha mukadziŵa mwamuna ndi mkazi, pali chomwe chimatchedwa gawo loyamba la kumvetsetsa, pogwiritsa ntchito zofunikanso zofanana. Koma pamene anthu ayamba kukhalira pamodzi, amatseguka wina ndi mzake, ndipo tsopano amayenera kugwira ntchito kuti akwaniritse mgwirizano wawo wonse, chifukwa sangathe kufanana ndi maganizo a anthu awiri. Kotero, ngati mwangoyamba kukangana nthawi zambiri ndikudandaula za kusamvetsetsa kwa theka lanu lachiwiri, palibe vuto lililonse, muyenera kusiya ndikuganiza chifukwa chake izi zikuchitika. Kuti mumvetse izi, samalirani mfundo zotsatirazi.
- Kawirikawiri anthu awiri sangamvetsetse chifukwa sanena za mavuto awo. Mvetserani, ziribe kanthu momwe muliri anzeru, simungathe kuwerengera malingaliro anu. Choncho, lekani kuyankhula ndi zigawo zanyengo, zonsezi zimangowonjezera. Lankhulani molunjika ndi momveka zomwe inu mumakonda ndi zomwe simuzikonda, liwuzani zilakolako zanu.
- Kuti mukwanitse kumvetsetsa, psychology imalangiza kuti mumvetsere kumvetsera kwa munthu wina, koma izi sizingatheke ngati kuyankhulana kumachitika pa nyimbo zazikulu. Titha kuganiza kuti tauza okondedwa athu nthawi zambiri, vuto ndi chiyani ndikudandaula kuti sanamvere mawu athu. Koma mfundoyi siinali yosasamala, komatu muzinthu zonse zomwe zinanenedwa pamakangano. Chifukwa pa nthawi yolankhulirana kotero sikofunikira kumvetsetsa oyankhulana, koma kuti apambane mkangano. Kotero chirichonse chimene iwe unena sichidzagwiridwa mozama.
- Mikangano yambiri imayamba chifukwa anthu samapeza zomwe akufuna kuchokera kwa mnzake (chibwenzi). Nthawi zina mavuto amabwera chifukwa chosokonezeka - sitimauza mnzanuyo chiyani
kuchokera kwa iye tikuyembekezera. Ndipo nthawizina timapanga maudindo apamwamba kwambiri. Choncho, ganizirani zofuna zanu, ganizirani ngati zilidi kwa inu, kapena ngati mukufuna chinachake chifukwa chakuti ena ali nacho. - Ganizirani zofuna za wina. Kumbukirani kuti mnzanuyo akuyembekezeranso chinachake kuchokera kwa inu. Kumvetsetsa pakati pa anthu kumadalira kuchuluka kwa zomwe amadziwa kuti amalemekezana.
Monga momwe mwadziwira kale, chinsinsi cha kumvetsetsa kumakhala ndi kuthekera kukupangani kumva ndi kumvetsera wina. Palimodzi, mungathe kupeza njira yomwe ingagwirizane onse awiri.