Woipa ndi wothamanga, yemwe sasamala za ntchitoyi. Mwambi uwu uli wofunika osati kwa oimira ntchito zapagulu, komanso kwa anthu a mibadwo yonse, mitundu ya umunthu ndi owerengeka. Zilibe kanthu kuti ndinu munthu wamphamvu kapena muli ndi chisomo chokongola, m'moyo muli nthawi zochepa zomwe inshuwaransi siidaperekedwe. Ndipo ngati mutakhala kale, sizikutanthauza kuti mantha sangakugwiritseni, kubwerezanso. Ndicho chifukwa chake ndikofunika kudziwa momwe mungachotsere chisangalalo mu nthawi ndikudzipezera nokha.
Kodi mungapewe bwanji chisangalalo?
Nthaŵi zambiri, kumverera kwachisangalalo ndi zotsatira za mantha. Kukhumudwa ndi kusatsimikizika kumapangitsa munthu kusonyeza kuti ali ndi mphamvu komanso zomwe angathe. Zotsatira zake, monga lamulo, kusakhutira ndi moyo, kutsutsidwa kwa ena mwa zolephera zawo komanso ngakhale kupsinjika maganizo. Kodi ndi kangati mantha a kuyankhula pagulu, kukhwima pamayesero kapena kuumitsa panthawi yolankhulirana adachita gawo lovulaza ndipo munthuyo adataya mwayi wakuwonetsera chidziwitso chake, luso ndi luso lake? Zitsanzo zoterezi zimapezeka pa sitepe iliyonse. Ndicho chifukwa chake mukudziwa zomwe muyenera kuchita pamene kudandaula sikungathandize munthu kukhala ndi chidaliro, komanso kumakhudza momwe moyo udzakhalira.
Kuopa kwathu konse kumathera mosavuta ndi kuthandizidwa ndi njira yapadera ndi zochita. Tiyeni tikambirane mwatsatanetsatane momwe tingachotsere chisangalalo pazochitika zosiyanasiyana:
1. Kodi mungathetse bwanji chisangalalo musanagwire ntchito? Magaziniyi ndi yofunikira osati kwa anthu okha, komanso kwa omwe akuyamba kukumana ndi omvera:
- Ngati mwakhala kale kumbuyo, yang'anani anthu omwe akhala mu holo. Yesani kuganiza kuti aliyense wa iwo komanso omwe mukuwopa kuti apite patsogolo. Ndipo iwo alibe kanthu koti anene. Ndipo muli ndi chidziwitso kwa iwo omwe angathe kukhala othandiza komanso othandiza. Kudzidalira kophweka kudzakuthandizani kukulira mumaso mwanu ndikumverera kufunika kwanu. Ndiyeno mantha adzayamba pang'onopang'ono;
- momwe mungachotsere chisangalalo, ngati mutayamba kulankhula, kapena mutakhala ndi mpweya wokwanira, yesetsani kutulutsa mpweya wozama ndi kutulutsa maulendo angapo musanayambe kulankhula. Mpweya pa kudzoza uyenera kudzaza mapapu, ndi kutuluka kunja popanda otsalira kuti achoke m'mapapo. Mukhozanso kuyambitsa ndodo imodzi, ndi kutulutsa kupyolera mu wina. Kuika patsogolo pa kupuma kwanu kudzakuthandizani kuchotsa malingaliro oipa ndi osangalatsa;
- chifukwa kuti kuthana ndi nkhaŵa nthawi zambiri kumatetezedwa ndi kuchuluka kwa adrenaline m'magazi, muyenera kuthandiza thupi kuti likhazikitsidwe mwamsanga. Kuti panthawiyi, mtima sulowa "pachifuwa," kapena osaphimbidwa ndi mawanga ndipo "phokoso silinagwedezeke" muyenera kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi. Mwachitsanzo, khalani pansi, kuthamanga kapena kangapo kuti mutuluke. Ngati izi sizingatheke, yesetsani kugwira ntchito ndi mawonekedwe a nkhope. Mangani nkhope zosiyana ndi zofufumitsa, ndikukakamiza minofu ya nkhope kuti igwire ntchito.
2. Chotsani chisangalalo musanayese kukambirana, kukambirana kapena kuyankhulana? Zinthu zitatuzi ndi zofanana, kuwonjezera pa njira zomwe tazitchula pamwambapa, mukhoza kuyesa kudzidalira poyankha mafunso osiyanasiyana ovuta:
- yesani kumvetsetsa chomwe chimayambitsa mantha ndi kuuma mtima mwa inu. Ngati izi ndi zoyankhulana kapena kuyesedwa, mantha ambiri amachititsa mantha kuyankhula zopusa, kudziwonetsa kuti sali woyenera komanso kuyang'ana mwachidwi nthawi yomweyo;
- momwe mungagonjetse chisangalalo, ngati mwasankha kale zomwe zimakuvutitsani inu? Ganizirani za khalidwe lanu pasadakhale! Pafunso lirilonse lachinyengo muyenera kukhala ndi nthabwala mu malo osungirako, funso loyankhidwa kapena kumwetulira pa ntchito. Chinthu chachikulu ndikukhala osakhala chete ndikuopa kunena chinachake cholakwika.
Kumbukirani kuti musamachite zinthu zosangalatsa ngati kuti moyo wanu umadalira. Simudzatha kukhalapo ngati simudutsa chiyeso ichi kapena kupeza ntchitoyi. Sinthani maganizo anu pa mantha anu. Pitani kwa iwo kuti mukakomane ndiyeno mudzaonetsetsa kuti palibe choopsa kapena chakupha chidzachitike.
Ziribe vuto lililonse, mutadziwa kale zomwe mungachite ngati mukusangalala kwambiri. Kuti muteteze kwambiri, musakhale aulesi kuphunzitsa kunyumba: grimacing pamaso pa galasi, kudziwonetsera nokha patsogolo pa omvetsera, kuphunzitsa mawu anu ofunika omwe mukanena pa zokambirana. Zochita zoterezi zidzakuphunzitsani kuti muzindikire thupi lanu, manja ndi nkhope. Mkhalidwe weniweni, thupi lanu lidzakumbukira momwe liyenera kukhalira ndikukulimbikitsani, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti funso la momwe mungagonjetse chisangalalo silingakhale loyenera kwa inu.