Bodza, kusakhulupirika, "mpeni kumbuyo" kuchokera kwa munthu yemwe anali pafupi komanso wosasinthika. Kukhumudwa kumachitika mwamsanga, ndipo kungakhalebe ndi moyo. Kukhumudwa mumtima, chidani, kukhumudwa kwakukulu ndi zina zoipa zingathe kuwononga thanzi lanu. Koma mbali inayo, momwe mungapezere mphamvu kuti muiwale zolamba zakale ndi kuyamba kukhala watsopano? Tidzakambirana za izi.
Kodi mungaphunzire bwanji kukhululukira machimo?
Tisanamvetsetse momwe tingathetsere mkwiyo, ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa kuti ndikumverera bwanji ndi chifukwa chake. Malingaliro a psychology, lingaliro limeneli limakhala ngati malingaliro akuti munthu amakhala ndi vuto pamene chisalungama, chinyengo, kunyoza, kusayamika kumachitidwa ndi iye, ndi zina zotero. Izi ndi chifukwa cha kusiyana kwa ziyembekezo zokhudzana ndi khalidwe la munthu amene adachita cholakwa.
Tonse timakhala ndi machitidwe ena ndi malingaliro a zabwino ndi zoipa. Maganizo awa adaphunzitsidwa kwa ife kuyambira ubwana ndipo akuleredwa pamodzi ndi ulemu. Ngati munthu ali ndi malingaliro oterewa, ndiye kuti zochita zilizonse zomwe sizili zoyenera kwa munthuyo zimamukhumudwitsa. Ngati, kuyambira ali mwana, munthu adaphunzitsidwa kuti akhale pamwamba pa kutsutsa ndi kunyozedwa, nthawi zambiri samangomvetsera kuti zomwe akuyembekeza sizigwirizana ndi zenizeni.
Ndiye mumatani mukalakwira? Pali zochitika pamene zimakhala zovuta kumvetsera kuwonongeka kwa makhalidwe komwe kunayambitsa. Koma monga akunena, ofooka amakumbukira zolakwa, ndipo amphamvu amakumbukira olakwira. Choyamba chochititsidwa manyazi ndi chilakolako chobwezera ndi kupweteka poyankha. Koma nthawi zambiri izi zidzangowonjezera nthawi. Mwinamwake, ndi kwa inu nokha kuti zochita za munthu zimakhumudwitsa, ndipo amene adachita sanafune kuti mukhale woipa. Mwachitsanzo, kodi mungakhululukire bwanji mnzanu amene amakukondani, koma chifukwa cha khalidwe lake amanyansidwa ndi zofuna zake zokha? Kuchita izi kumaletsa mantha. Kuopa kuti wina wakukhumudwitsani kudzatsatiridwa ndi wina ndipo mudzaperekedwanso kapena kunyozedwa. Koma simungathe kuziwoneratu izi pasadakhale. Choncho, ndi bwino kuyanjana ndi anthu amphamvu omwe sali kubwezera chilango kwa olakwira awo ndipo samatsikira kumalo awo. Anthu oterewa amadziwa mmene angachitire ndi chinyengocho, kupulumuka kwa kanthaŵi kochepa, kenaka akhululukitseni ndi kufunsa kuti zambiri za izi sizikuchitikanso, kapena kuyesayesa kuti asayang'ane nawo pamoyo wawo ngakhale ndi amene adachita.
Ngati kudziletsa kwa mtundu umenewu ndiko kotheka ndi zovuta, ndibwino kukumbukira kuti zoipa zonse zomwe mumasunga mu malingaliro anu zimachotsa mphamvu zomwe okondedwa anu amafunikira. Ndipo popeza n'kosatheka kupulumuka cholakwacho nthawi yomweyo, yesetsani kuti musokoneze maganizo anu, komanso kuti muzichita njira zingapo zapadera.
Ndi zophweka bwanji kuiwala kunyalanyaza ndi masewero olimbitsa thupi
Popeza ndikofunika kukhululukira cholakwa cha munthu popanda kubwezera, mungathe kuchichita. Palibe amene amaletsa maganizo kuti atsogolere zoipazo kwa wolakwira. Kugwiritsa ntchito molakwa sikofunikira, koma kubwereza kangapo kwa ntchito zotsatirazi kungathetsere vuto la maganizo ndipo sichidzapweteketse mwapadera:
- Tengani bwino, penyani maso anu ndi kumasuka. Tangoganizirani izi kapena omwe akukukhumudwitsani. Kodi mukufuna kuti iwo abwezere? Kodi ayenera kupulumuka kapena kuchita chiyani kuti muwakhululukire? Tangoganizani chithunzi cha kubwezera kwanu mu mitundu yonse ndi mfundo zonse. Ndipo muzisunga chithunzichi pamutu mwanu pokhapokha ngati mukuwona kuti ozunza anu akuvutika ndi kulandira zomwe akuyenera. Ndiye muwakhululukire iwo ndi kumverera kukhala okhutira ndi zolakwika zakale.
- Njira yachiwiri momwe mungamasulire cholakwa ndikugwira ntchito ndi mnzanuyo.
Pafupi ndi inu payenera kukhala munthu yemwe mumamukhulupirira kwambiri. Udindo wake ndikutengera munthu wina wakukhumudwitsani. Tsekani maso anu ndipo muyerekeze kuti mmalo mwa mnzanu yemwe mumamuchitira nkhanza patsogolo panu. Komanso, mutatseka maso anu, perekani maganizo abwino: "Ndikufuna ndikukhululukire chifukwa ...". Muyenera kuyankhula kufikira mutamva bwino, ndipo simunganene chilichonse chomwe chimatentha pamtima kwa wozunza.
Aliyense ayenera kudzipangira yekha ngati akukhululukira chinyengo. Koma kumbukirani - mukhoza kuwiritsa moyo wanu wonse ndi mkwiyo ndi ukali, ndikuwopsya moyo wanu ndi zoipa. Ndipo mukhoza kulola wolakwira ndi dziko, kuchotsapo mtolo wa malingaliro osautsa ndikudzikondweretsa wekha ndi okondedwa anu.