Chikondi ndi malingaliro odabwitsa omwe ali ndi mithunzi yosiyana ndi mbiri ya maonekedwe: ena amafanizitsa kuchitika kwake ndi "kugunda kwa mphezi", monga kutulukira mwadzidzidzi komwe kumawunikira moyo, kumapereka tanthawuzo latsopano. Ena amayerekezera chikondi ndi majeremusi, yomwe inayamba mtsogolo, ndikukhala maluwa okongola, chifukwa moyo umene anthu awiriwa amayesetsa kuchita ndiwowonjezereka: kukondana wina ndi mzake, kuthana nawo mavuto ndi ntchito yaumwini payekha.
Ngakhale kuti pali kusiyana kotereku, mitundu yonse ya chikondi imakhala yofanana: ichi ndikumverera kosavuta komanso kosadziŵika bwino komwe kuwonongeka ndi zochitika sizikhoza kunenedweratu. Chifukwa chake, ambiri amadandaula za momwe angapitirizire chikondi cha moyo, kupatsidwa zochitika zonse zomwe sizikudziŵikiratu zomwe zingathe kulimbitsa, ndikuziwononga.
Mmene mungasunge chikondi patali?
Ngati maonekedwe a chikondi angagwirizane ndi kuwonongeka komwe sikungakhudzidwe, ndiye kuti n'zotheka kupitiriza moyo uno mwa chifuniro chawo. Mwinamwake mu malo osalimba kwambiri ndi chikondi patali. Mmene mungapulumutsire chikondi, poyamba, ayenera kuchititsa mtima, koma pali zizoloŵezi zomwe zili ponseponse kwa onse. Popeza apa tikukamba za chikondi, osati maubwenzi, tidzakambirana za chikhalidwe cha mkati mwa wokonda:
- chiyembekezo cha kukumana. Palinso chikondi chosaganiziridwa, chomwe chimatenga zaka zambiri, pamene munthu sakhulupirira kuti tsiku limodzi adzagwirizana ndi wokondedwa wake. Komabe, nthawi zambiri, anthu kuti asunge malingaliro ameneŵa, muyenera kudziwa kuti tsiku lina wokondedwa adzakhala pafupi;
- wodala kapena wam'tsogolo. Ngati anthu anali osangalala asanalowe, ndiye kuti nthawi zina muyenera kutembenukira kuzikumbukirozi, ndikuthandizira "mu tonus" chithunzi cha chinthu chopembedzera. Ngati palibe kale, ndiye kuti mukuyenera kuganiza mozama ndikuganiza za tsogolo lanu: ganizirani momwe zidzakhalira pamodzi, kupanga ndondomeko, ndikukhala ngati wokondedwayo ali kale. Koma pano pali chiopsezo choyamba kugwiritsidwa ntchito mopanda kanthu, kotero sikofunika kuti mukhale otere nthawi yaitali.
Kodi mungatani kuti mukhale ndi chikondi m'banja?
Mwamwayi, kusudzulana kuli kofala m'nthawi yathu ino: umakhudzana ndi mavuto a tsiku ndi tsiku, pamene mphamvu zonse za ogonana zimathera pazothetsa mavuto awo, komanso ndichinsinsi chomwe chinayambitsa chikondi, komanso nthawi yomwe idzasintha zonse. Ngati mukuyerekezera anthu awiri pakalipano, kenako muyang'anenso mmbuyomo, ndipo muwafanizire, ndiye kuti mwina iwo adzakhala anthu osiyana. Kuchokera ku mawu oti "Ndimakukondani" ku funso lakuti "momwe mungasunge chikondi cha mwamuna" zabodza zoposa zaka zisanu: banjali limakwatirana, ana amaoneka, chirichonse chimasintha kupatula mawonekedwe a chiyanjano. Choncho, kuti mudziwe momwe mungasunge chikondi m'banja, muyenera kuyamba kumvetsera ubale, osati kumverera:
- onjezani zosiyanasiyana. Malangizowa amawoneka ngati a banal, koma opanda ponseponse: ngati mutagwedezeka mu "bytovuhe", ndiye chikondi cholimba kwambiri chimasanduka: sizingakhale ndi malo m'mitima mwanu. Pa miphika ndi nkhawa, monga "kukonzanso mu bafa," palibe nthawi yodziwira chikondi chanu kwa wina. Choncho, lolani kuti nyumba yanu isakhale yoyenera, koma kuti muthandize maganizo anu pazomwe mukufunikira: Ndani akufunikira nyumba yoyera popanda chimwemwe?
- maonekedwe. Kusintha kwa msinkhu sikuyenera kukhala chifukwa chomveka choiwala za maonekedwe okongola. Amuna ndi akazi "amakonda" maso, makutu ndi kukhudza, kotero kuti onsewo aziwoneka bwino, amve fungo labwino komanso akhale ndi chidwi chokambirana, kuti asakondane.
- kusintha kosintha umunthu. Kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi azikondana wina ndi mzake, ayenera kusonyeza chidwi mwa iwo okha. Pezani zolaula, kusintha, phunzirani zinthu zatsopano, ndipo chofunika kwambiri - musaiwale kugawana ndi mnzanuyo.
Kodi mungatani kuti musamangokhalira kukondana?
"Chilonda cha Achilles" cha ubale wautali kwa nthawi yaitali ndikuti iwo sali pamapeto omveka - mgwirizano weniweni ndi kubadwa kwa ana. Choncho, yankho la funso lakuti "Kodi mungatani kuti musamangokhalira kugonana?" Pankhaniyi ndi losavuta: muyenera kupitiriza kukulitsa. Maganizo, yandikirani, yambitsani ukwati, ndiyeno mulere ana. Ubale umene "wasungunuka" pa siteji ina, umakhala ndi chiopsezo chachikulu chothera chifukwa amzakewo amazindikira kuti maganizo awo ndi opanda pake, omwe amatha kukhala opanda pake.
Kodi mungalimbitse bwanji chikondi?
Akatswiri a zamaganizo amapereka malangizo angapo a momwe angapulumutsire ndi kukondana chikondi:
- Thandizani mnzanuyo kukhala ndi makhalidwe abwino;
- Nthawi zonse muzilankhulana wina ndi mzake, kukhazikitsa chibwenzi chaubale;
- yesetsani kuchita ntchito zapakhomo palimodzi: kuyambira pa kukonzekera chakudya chamadzulo ndikuthera ndi kusankha kosungidwa;
- Musayesetse kusintha wina ndi mnzake: kulandira chikondi monga momwe zilili. Kumbukirani zomwe zinachitika kwa mayi wachikulire kuchokera m'nthano za msodzi ndi nsomba: Anakhala pachitsime chophwanyika pamene adafuna, ndikufuna zambiri. Phunzirani kuyamikira zomwe muli nazo;
- Konzani zosangalatsa zofanana, zomwe zimabweretsa chisangalalo kwa onse awiri.
Kukayikira kuti mphamvu za mabungwe awa sizothandiza, choncho m'malo moganiza kuti musataya chikondi, pitani ku bizinesi: chikondi, ndi kusangalala ndikumverera, ndipo simungapezeke paliponse kuchokera kwa inu.