Iye ndi wokongola, wamphamvu, wofatsa komanso kawirikawiri kwambiri. Chifukwa iye ndi munthu wanu, amene amayenera mphatso yamtengo wapatali - chikondi chanu ndi kudzipereka kwanu. Komabe, ngakhale kumwamba sikungakhale popanda mitambo. Ndipo patapita nthawi, kuwonjezera pa kumverera kwakukulu, "ntchentche mumatenda", zomwe zingasokoneze mgwirizano uliwonse. Dzina lake ndi nsanje. Ndipo apo zikuwoneka kuti palibe chifukwa, kapena zikuwoneka kuti ayi. Kapena mwina mwangosokonezeka nokha. Mulimonsemo, pafupifupi mkazi aliyense wachiwiri amaganiza za momwe angadzikakamizire kuti asakhale ndi nsanje ndi wokondedwa wake. Ndipo popeza vutoli linayamba kukula mdziko lonse lapansi, ndikofunikira kumvetsa kamodzi kokha.
Kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani kuti musakhale nsanje kapena nsanje ikuchokera kuti?
Ngati simunali nthawi yoyamba kuti muzindikire kumvetsa kosautsa kumeneku, yesetsani kukumbukira pamene idawonekera. Ndipotu, kumayambiriro kwa ubale wanu ndi wokondedwa wanu simunadziwe kuti mungathe kukangana nawo. Nanga nchiyani chinachitika kuti munayamba kupeza zifukwa za nsanje? Pali zambiri zomwe mungachite, komabe, ndi bwino kukumbukira - palibe nsanje iliyonse yomwe imayenderana ndi matenda. Zimabwera chifukwa ziwiri ndipo onse ali ndi khalidwe la maganizo:
- Ufulu wodziwika womwe umaperekedwa kwa mnyamata wanu
- Kutetezeka kwanu.
Pachiyambi choyamba, tikulimbana ndi chilakolako chopweteka chokhalira nacho chikondi cha munthu, kudzichepetsera moyo wake ndi yekha komanso kupewa njira yosiyana ndi kukhalapo kwake. Nsanje yoteroyo ikhoza kuwononga ubale uliwonse, chifukwa anthu ndi okonda ufulu. Ambiri mwa iwo sangafune kuti mkazi wokondedwa asamulole kuti achite zinthu zomwe amakonda, azicheza ndi anzake ndikukonzekera mafunso pokhapokha atayesayesa kupuma popanda iye.
Chifukwa chachiwiri, mwinamwake, ndicho chofala kwambiri. Kutetezeka mwa iwo okha, mu mphamvu zawo, kukongola ndi chithumwa kumapangitsa mkazi kukhala wovuta komanso wokayikira. Gawo lakumverera kotereli silinakwaniritsidwe ndi hafu yokongola yaumunthu, koma intuitively mkazi akhoza kumverera kuti, motsatira maziko a ena, iye mwachiwonekere amataika. Zimenezi zimapangitsa kuti msungwana aliyense amene amapezeka pa chiyanjano cha wokondedwa wake, amawonedwa kuti ndi mdani woopsa komanso wotsutsana naye.
Kodi mungaphunzire bwanji kusakhala nsanje?
Zilibe chifukwa chenichenicho, ndibwino kukumbukira kuti nsanje ndikumverera kwakukulu kwambiri, kotheka m'kamphindi kamodzi kuwonongera mgwirizano uliwonse. Ngati muyang'ana mkhalidwewo kuchokera kumbali, ndiye kuti mwa kuwonetseratu maubwenzi anu mumapereka chifukwa kwa wokondedwa wanu kuti akufanane ndi ena. Ndipo tsiku lina munthu akhoza kuganiza, koma kwenikweni, chifukwa chiyani iwe, malinga ndi mawu ako, akazi ena ali abwino komanso osangalatsa. Ndipo ndizingati zomwe zingapewe ngati amayi akudziwa choti achite kuti asakhale ndi nsanje.
Koma muli ndi amayi okondeka. Kotero, ngati inu nokha mukutopa chifukwa cha zonyansa popanda chifukwa chomveka, tiyeni tione momwe tingaphunzire kuti tisakhale ndi nsanje.
- Mukawona chiwonongeko chatsopano cha nsanje, musafulumire kukantha wokondedwa wanu. Khalani pansi, khalani chete ndikuganiza mosamala kuti nthawi ino inali chifukwa chenicheni chotani. Mwinamwake, chifukwa chake sichiyenera kukuthandizani
- Pewani nsanje pogwiritsa ntchito ntchito yosangalatsa ndi yosangalatsa. Kumbukirani kuti maubwenzi amamangidwa pa ufulu ndi kudalira. Mwa kukayikira nthawizonse, mumachita zoipitsitsa nokha, zomwe zimadzaza ndi kuzunzika osati ndege yokha, komanso thupi.
- Ngati zikuwoneka kuti pali zifukwa zokwanira, kuti mukhale achisoni, khalani pansi ndi kukambirana ndi mtima wanu wokondedwa. Koma musamachite zimenezi kawirikawiri, chifukwa Kufotokozera kulikonse kwa chiyanjano kumayambitsa ndi kuopseza kukhalapo kwa awiriwa.
- Kodi simungachite nsanje zapitazo? Yankho la funso ili ndi losavuta. Zakale zachitika kale, zakwaniritsidwa. Kuti mubwererenso, mwatsoka, kapena mwachisangalalo ndizosatheka. Ndiye bwanji ndikuwononga mphamvu zanu ndikutembenuza mtima mkati? Ngakhale mutakhala mvula, simudzafika pomwepo, ndipo palibe chifukwa chokangana ndi kukumbukira. Ndi bwino kuganizira momwe mungakonzekere ubale wanu wamtsogolo, kotero kuti zochitika zonse zakale zapita patsogolo.
- Ndipo bwanji kuti musakhale ndi nsanje pa mwamuna, inu mukutsutsa, ngati chiyanjano chakhala chitasokoneza, ndipo iye, mwinamwake, adzafuna zokhudzidwa zatsopano kumbali? Simukufuna. Ngati mumakhala mnzanu womvetsetsa, chithandizo ndi chithandizo. Amuna samayang'ana mbali, ngati mkazi wokondedwa wakhala kwa iwo wofunikira kwambiri. Ndipo kawirikawiri, malinga ndi ziwerengero, munthu amayamba "kuyang'ana kumanzere" ngati chinachake chiri cholakwika m'banja. Ndipo tsopano ganizirani momwe amadzimverera yekha, ngati panyumba mumakonza zopanda pake ndikumufunsa mafunso. Kodi simungakhale chifukwa chimene chingamukakamizire kusintha? Taganizani za izo. Ndipo funso la momwe angaphunzirire kusakhala ndi nsanje pa mwamuna wake lidzatha pokhakha.
- Mzere wosiyana mu moyo wa mkazi ndi wokonda. Ndipo ndi bwino ngati iye sali pabanja ndipo simunakwatire. Koma bwanji kuti musakhale ndi nsanje ndi wokonda, ngati ubale wanu uli wokha chipatso choletsedwa, chomwe sichiyenera kufalikira? Pano mukufunikira kusankha, chomwe chili chofunika kwambiri. Ngati ndinu mkazi wokwatiwa, ndipo adakusankhani inu monga wansembe wamkazi wachikondi, ndiye bwanji osasankha zofanana? Ndipotu, mosiyana ndi inu, iye ndi mfulu. Koma panonso, kumverera ngati nsanje sikulakwa. Ngati kudzikuza kwanu ndi umwini wanu zikupangitsa kukhala ndi nsanje, khalani patsogolo.
Mwachidziwikire, simukukhutira ndi moyo wanu, ndipo wokonda ndi chiyanjano chimodzi chokha m'moyo uno.
Komabe, momwe mungaphunzire kuti musamachite nsanje ndi wokondedwa wanu, koma kuti mukhale ndi moyo wokhutitsidwa kwathunthu? Muyenera kuyamba ndi nokha. Kumvetsetsa chomwe chimakuchititsani kusakhulupirika? Kodi mumakwiya ndi munthu mwiniyo? Ndipo mwina mwatentha kale tsiku lina? Kapena kodi mulibe vuto lanu lokhazikika? Yang'anani mkati mwanu ndipo mwinamwake mudzawona mayankho a mafunso awa onse. Musamunene wokondedwa wanu chifukwa cha zomwe mwina sanachitepo. Ndipotu yankho ndiloti, kuti musakhale ndi nsanje pamunthu - dzikondeni nokha, ndipo palibe amene angayese kusokoneza mgwirizano wanu ndi zodetsa nkhaŵa zopanda pake.